Halloween IF grumpy cat reappears!『blogtober 2014』

Yesterday we went to the future (kind of), and today it’s throw-back-thursday for blogtober 2014 !

Your best or worst Halloween memory #TBT
Halloween is actually not that big of a thing here in Germany where I live, so I don’t really have specific memories for that special last day of October. I’m also someone who is frightened easily, and get a little heart attack everytime someone comes into the room a little too quiet for me to notice right away. I guess that makes me a bit of a Halloween fail.

BUT…there is one thing I get excited about when it comes to Halloween: PUMPKINS! I do enjoy the “pumpkin season” and love to see carved pumpkins and such. Last year, I took part in the “IF Pumpkin Smackdown 2013″ and actually carved a pumpkin myself for the first time. It was so much fun!
I carved an ‘Infertility Grumpy Cat’-pumpkin and you can see my blog post with pictures of it HERE. A little halloween-throw-back-sneak-peak
halloween | tinadayo

I was on my two-week-wait back then after my frozen embryo transfer and it was such a good distraction from worrying and thinking about whether it will lead to a positive pregnancy test. Little did I know that our IVF miracle was actually already getting comfy in my belly and with us for this years Halloween. It’s definitely a memorable Halloween memory of mine.

Life is PINK

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Ever since I started seeing PINK lines on my home pregnancy tests, I also started knitting these handwarmers. The different intensity of the color pink that I saw on the tests inspired me to mix light and dark pink(violet). Using these colors and reminded me to be confident and keep trusting those little pink lines on the test. (I was having trust-issues since they tricked me last time and I ended up with an early miscarriage due to non-viable pregnancy).

Since the “pink lines” were a big part of my days leading up to the official test, I decided to call these handwarmers “LIFE IS PINK” (^_^) You can get them here.

For more handwarmers, cup cozies and knitted flower necklaces, have a look at my etsy shop 🙂

 

 

with my ‘omamori’ in hand…

Still on the dreaded two-week-wait after Frozen Embryo Transfer, and with all the emotions going from hopeful highs through the valley of worries, everything that gives you some sort of peace of mind (and soul) is much welcome.

This time I’m basically attached to this little thing, keeping it in my hand or around my wrist all the time.

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I bought it during my latest trip to Japan in September. It’s called an ‘Omamori’ (お守り)。The word ‘mamoru’ literally means ‘to protect’ but in general they are thought of as luck charms or talisman. You get them for all kinds of different purposes: safety while driving, good health, successful marriage, giving birth smoothely, luck with money, luck with exams etc. You get the drift.

This particular one on the photo^^ that I carry around with me these days is for ‘receiving a child’ (ko-uke 子受け), which is what we are hoping for right now: to finally be one of the lucky ones to receive a child aka. become pregnant & STAY pregnant.

I’m a realist, but in times like these, when hope is all you can cling to while waiting on a result, I’m happy to embrace everything that keeps my hope up.

 

The two week wait – “Handwarmers of Hope”

I’m just starting on the dreaded “two week wait” after a frozen transfer and this time can be challening. Constantly wondering if our little blastocyst is still there, if it’s doing alright, if it’s doing what it’s supposed to be doing.???? It’s best to find lots of things to keep your mind busy and not worrying too much, or even going crazy.

Today I did some crocheting for my ETSY shop & I chose colours that I personally associate with HOPE – greens & yellow

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Different shades of green = different stages of hope one goes through when being on the two week wait. You may experience a glimpse of hope, or strong passionate hope, or even desperate hope…there are probably as many levels of hope as there are shades of green existing.

But groundless hope, like unconditional love, is the only kind worth having – John Perry Barlow