“Home” is …

  • …where the heart is?
  • …where wifi connects automatically?
  • …where your loved ones are?

To many people “HOME” is where they live or used to live, a place with (extended) family and memories from childhood – ready to go back to whenever nostalgia strikes. Some may simply say it’s their apartment or house, the town they are registered in as citizens. For many other people “HOME” is an individual feeling, that can’t be pinpointed to a place or stored in something materialistic – it’s simple a vibe that runs through you if all the outer circumstances and life situations come together at the right moment. I’m one of those people.

I don’t even like to call my hometown “hometown” as I don’t feel anything connected to that home-vibe I just described. It certainly is the town I was born, spend my childhood in and where my parents are still living today, but all the memories I’d like to keep from that chapter of my life are treasured in my heart without the attachment of “home”. Beloved family members have a special place in my heart as well, and I enjoy the nostalgic feeling connected to memories we created together when seeing them. However, even that feeling is not “home” to me.

Of course I use the phrase “going/coming home” when I talk about the actual place where I live or have lived in the past, but that is used in a strictly geographical sense, and I don’t really feel anything by saying that. When I see photos or think of all the apartments I’ve lived in, I do regocnize they are part of my life, and like to reminisce in experiences I’ve made during each phase in my  life. Still, I can’t look back and call them “home” for that time.

“HOME” to me, is the feeling I have when particular things/vibes are suddenly coming together – as random as may seem – from all over those stages in my life. For example: as a child I’ve always dreamed of living in Berlin. It’s not the fact that I actually got to live in Berlin for some years now that make a tiny part of that “HOME”-vibe, but rather the feeling of longing I had as a child. Another example is the time I spent in Tokyo, Japan – a place where I left a piece of my heart forever. If I’d live there now, I wouldn’t call Tokyo or Japan “HOME” but rather certain things that stole that piece of my heart, for instance the smell of certain foods, the feeling I have walking the streets, the smile it puts on my face simply when being there.

It’s similar with the people who have come into my life and may have stayed for a while or are still with me. Obviously it is important to me, to have MY family (husband & children) with me, and they are a big part of what the concept of “HOME” is made up from. However I couldn’t say “My family is my home”…they are my rock, my happy place, my unquestioned comfortableness. And those are the single straints, or as I call it “vibes”, that are a big part of the puzzle.

All those examples I’ve just given make up the feeling of “HOME” to me – wherever I am or may go – it’s a cozy place in my mind that triggers that feeling when all those parts come together somehow. It’s not something I constantly feel, but it is the inner peace I strive to have as much as possible.

 

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