Nothing to fear but fear itself ?!『blogtober 2014』

Day 20 of blogtober2014 tackles my fears.

Your biggest fear?
I have more than one, all equally scary to me in their own way:

  • Health: getting cancer. It’s such a cruel and sadly common illness, and I’m scared that one day I’m one of many having to suffer to from it. Even my battle with Endometriosis fades a bit compared to my fear of getting cancer.
  • Relationship: Losing my husband, my baby, my family. Now, I have no reason be scared of losing my husband in a sense of him leaving me or vice versa, but the fear of life taking him from me in some horrible way. Same goes for my baby. This fear has become very dominent since I gave birth. Is it the hormones, is it the “being a mother”? I don’t know, but it’s there.
  • Animals: Spiders. Teeny tiny ones or big ones, deadly or not – I see them, I scream! Having been bitten by a spider (hidden in a gardening glove, I didn’t see the monster) and my hand swelling up to the point where I couldn’t move my fingers anymore, didn’t quite help that fear
  • Random: All animals that fly – Birds, butterflies, moths, bees & wasps, bats…Now, it’s not necessarily the animal itself that scares me (except for wasps & moths!) but more so their “movement”. Especially those who fly seemingly uncoordinated put me in a shock where I just want to dig a hole and hide in it. Other people like to go to the birdhouse at the zoo, I skip it. Some enjoy the butterflies in spring & summer, I jump like a freak when it comes near me (read: I see one). I can’t help it, it’s like a reflex I can’t do anything about.

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