It was just a cluster of cells, but it was OUR cluster of cells!

Today is October 15th – world wide Pregnancy & Infant Loss Rememberance Day.

So of course I do think a lot about my very early miscarriage back in August after our first round of IVF. I’ve had people trying to tell me it’s not really a miscarriage since there was no embryo that had a visible head, body, limbs etc. I thought about it a lot ever since it happened, so much that at one point I almost doubted there was ANYTHING at all.

But I still have the pregnancy tests with the lines…the lines getting a tiny bit darker with each test and then the last stick with almost no line visible anymore. I can’t count how many times I’ve looked at those, just to tell myself: “YES, there WAS something!” Yes, it was just a cluster of cells, but damnit…it was OUR cluster of cells and it had our genetic material that was already combined, dividing itself into material that babies are made of. And it’s called an Embryo the moment a fertilized egg starts dividing and developing.

So by now – we are about to start our 2nd round (FET) in this crazy journey – I can say without a doubt in my mind, that I WAS PREGNANT even if for just a few days & I suffered an early miscarriage and I’m not calling it any other names than that!

For anyone who sufferes a pregnancy loss, it doesn’t matter at what stage the embryo was, IT IS A LOSS.


Credit: great comic drawn by the illustrator Paula Knight – it’s right on the spot.She does so many awesome illustrations & comics, so be sure to visit her site:


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