already in my heart – someday in my arms

Endometriosis based Infertility.

Those are the cards we’ve been dealt. Slowly and over time we learned to play with those cards, just so to keep us in the game. There is always a change of players at the table – nobody can play without (medical) help. Some players have what I came to call “Beginners luck” and can leave the game table quite soon with a happy and relieved smile on their faces.

I try my hardest to send them off with a smile, because I am happy they got through the game so fast! It’s every players dream: go in, play your cards, beat the infertility bank and leave with the precious prize & the glow of someone “expecting”.

I would have to cheat lie if I’d say that it doesn’t hurt a bit in my heart to see a player leave the table. I could dwell on that feeling and give it ground to grow on. Instead I turn around, eyes back on the game table, the cards in my hand and I keep on playing with one thought in mind:

I will not lose to the infertility bank – I will be a mother !

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